You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
Randomize
