I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
Tried to buy Xanax from my boss last night. Wrong Mike.
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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