There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
Randomize
