Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
25 People Reveal The Creepiest Kids They Went to School With
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
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No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.