AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
25 Of The Most Cringeworthy Internet Stalking Fails
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
21 People Who Barely Escaped Death
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?