you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
well you can't waste a boner
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
21 Dirty Secrets From Bachelor/Bachelorette Parties That Have Destroyed Marriages
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
23 Fathers Confess The Best Way They’ve Messed With Their Daughter’s Boyfriend
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms