Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
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