There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
Randomize
