Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
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