My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
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