it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
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