I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Randomize
