I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
