Screwed.edu
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
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