It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
Randomize
