Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
I wish you could order shots online.
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
Sorry about my sloppy drunk texts. I'm not sure talking about banging a near dead Jimmy Stewart was my finest moment
Morning! Got your 3am VM to remind you to get up for spin class and also confirm you were not murdered by the sketchy guy at brunch yesterday. So this is your literal and metaphorical wake up call.
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize
