If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
My liver just had a heart attack.
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
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