he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
Randomize
