And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
Randomize
