My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
im holly from the hills drunk
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.
Hey I found a cat!
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Randomize
