Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
Randomize
