everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
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It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
Randomize