thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
Randomize