I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
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i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
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Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
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