my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
I woke up with a russian doll attached to my necklace and a post-it note with "keep babushka safe" written on it. Fuck vodka
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
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