so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
Be still, my beating vagina.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
Randomize
