You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Randomize
