He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
I can't turn off my feet"
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
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