Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
Randomize
