We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
Randomize
