Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Randomize
