Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
