I'm drunk
Is that why you're texting me
Yes
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
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