you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
