know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
Randomize
