I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
Randomize
