just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
Randomize
