I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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