this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
Randomize
