apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
Randomize