is your mom at the bar?
I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
Randomize
