What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
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