There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
Randomize
