When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
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