never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
Randomize
