two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
Randomize