are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
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