Heybabeimwearingurpanties
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
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