I can text with my tongue
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
Randomize
