Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
Randomize
