Kiss
Puke
This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
Randomize
