i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
false alarm, still single
Randomize
