lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
