i just had sex bonerless
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
Randomize
