I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
Randomize
