i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
sex in a hospital.. check
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
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