Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
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