So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
Randomize
