you tried to scramble eggs in my dryer last night. i want you here in 15 minutes to clean this shit up
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
Randomize
