Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (517): View more from Michigan

  Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets

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  (517): Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets http://tfl.nu/g504
  Replies (12) Good night (1623) Bad night (544)
• Favorite

  (913): View more from Kansas

  if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad

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  (913): if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad http://tfl.nu/tveg
  Replies (14) Good night (810) Bad night (2598)
• Favorite

  (248): View more from Michigan

  I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.

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  (248): I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first. http://tfl.nu/88zr
  Replies (18) Good night (3656) Bad night (596)
• Favorite

  (860): View more from Connecticut

  i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.

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  (860): i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards. http://tfl.nu/0s8j
  Replies (24) Good night (920) Bad night (6848)
• Favorite

  (636): View more from Missouri

  Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".

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  (636): Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional". http://tfl.nu/cis7
  Replies (10) Good night (4485) Bad night (800)
• Favorite

  (248): View more from Michigan

  I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me

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  (248): I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me http://tfl.nu/356r
  Replies (20) Good night (7463) Bad night (1423)
• Favorite

  (702): View more from Nevada

  We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.

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  (702): We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside. http://tfl.nu/zfn8
  Replies (2) Good night (963) Bad night (2722)
• Favorite

  (618): View more from Illinois

  she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.

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  (618): she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing. http://tfl.nu/tedj
  Replies (9) Good night (979) Bad night (2827)
• Favorite

  (778): View more from British Columbia

  We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.

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  (778): We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay. http://tfl.nu/xs17
  Replies (16) Good night (1671) Bad night (3016)
• Favorite

  (864): View more from South Carolina

  You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."

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  (864): You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor." http://tfl.nu/jk5x
  Replies (9) Good night (3358) Bad night (771)
• Favorite

  (256): View more from Alabama

  Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy

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  (256): Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy http://tfl.nu/ele7
  Replies (7) Good night (1332) Bad night (816)
• Favorite

  (219): View more from Indiana

  I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.

  (1-219): View more from Indiana

  secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.

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  (219): I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo. (1-219): secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world. http://tfl.nu/oy0x
  Replies (0) Good night (479) Bad night (353)
• Favorite

  (618): View more from Illinois

  Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"

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  (618): Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin" http://tfl.nu/b2j2
  Replies (1) Good night (687) Bad night (402)
• Favorite

  (858): View more from California

  Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"

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  (858): Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick" http://tfl.nu/uds1
  Replies (2) Good night (640) Bad night (378)
• Favorite

  (970): View more from Colorado

  The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.

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  (970): The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese. http://tfl.nu/ftp9
  Replies (4) Good night (521) Bad night (734)

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