Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(815): View more from Illinois

There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.

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(815): There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick. http://tfl.nu/npkp

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(260): View more from Indiana

He went soft

(631): View more from New York

Wait. During?

(260): View more from Indiana

Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.

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(260): He went soft (631): Wait. During? (260): Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH. http://tfl.nu/18lb

Replies (99) Good night (808) Bad night (15767)
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(817): View more from Texas

I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.

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(817): I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe. http://tfl.nu/w5m0

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(720): View more from Colorado

For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)

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(720): For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented) http://tfl.nu/wdah

Replies (10) Good night (3208) Bad night (1355)
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(647): View more from Ontario

I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS

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(647): I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS http://tfl.nu/1k5d

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(330): View more from Ohio

Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...

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(330): Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late... http://tfl.nu/fji7

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(559): View more from California

I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.

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(559): I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me. http://tfl.nu/s6gx

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(310): View more from California

I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.

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(310): I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies. http://tfl.nu/ehsm

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(44): View more from United Kingdom

Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"

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(44): Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?" http://tfl.nu/lln8

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(210): View more from Texas

please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi

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(210): please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi http://tfl.nu/ocwi

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(702): View more from Nevada

I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore

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(702): I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore http://tfl.nu/7m2v

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(850): View more from Florida

She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING

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(850): She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING http://tfl.nu/6jxf

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(505): View more from New Mexico

The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.

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(505): The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it. http://tfl.nu/p90f

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(435): View more from Utah

Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids

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(435): Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids http://tfl.nu/id5c

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(780): View more from Alberta, CA

My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight

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(780): My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight http://tfl.nu/tvtb

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