Texts From Last Night

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  (323): View more from California

  You know you want to come over later

  (1-323): View more from California

  1:27a: Um no

  (1-323): View more from California

  1:45a: Maybe

  (1-323): View more from California

  2:05a: Probably

  (1-323): View more from California

  2:38a: I'm outside, let me in

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  (323): You know you want to come over later (1-323) 1:27a: Um no (1-323) 1:45a: Maybe (1-323) 2:05a: Probably (1-323) 2:38a: I'm outside, let me in http://tfl.nu/aay3
  Replies (8) Good night (3915) Bad night (877)
• Favorite

  (310): View more from California

  Why did I cab home last night?

  (1-310): View more from California

  Because you said you were drunk, sad, and someone called you a hooker.

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  (310): Why did I cab home last night? (1-310): Because you said you were drunk, sad, and someone called you a hooker. http://tfl.nu/2rna
  Replies (1) Good night (1005) Bad night (769)
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  (574): View more from Indiana

  We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"

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  (574): We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?" http://tfl.nu/lg4y
  Replies (20) Good night (1144) Bad night (5834)
• Favorite

  (915): View more from Texas

  when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up

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  (915): when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up http://tfl.nu/inqg
  Replies (23) Good night (3734) Bad night (1462)
• Favorite

  (803): View more from South Carolina

  there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.

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  (803): there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina. http://tfl.nu/qg49
  Replies (28) Good night (1154) Bad night (20297)
• Favorite

  (815): View more from Illinois

  If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.

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  (815): If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight. http://tfl.nu/9c3v
  Replies (40) Good night (3363) Bad night (7024)
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  (317): View more from Indiana

  Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake

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  (317): Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake http://tfl.nu/x5vz
  Replies (22) Good night (1790) Bad night (4642)
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  (603): View more from New Hampshire

  whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.

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  (603): whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card. http://tfl.nu/d7h9
  Replies (6) Good night (2712) Bad night (518)
• Favorite

  (216): View more from Ohio

  The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move

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  (216): The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move http://tfl.nu/h1eb
  Replies (26) Good night (3061) Bad night (1137)
• Favorite

  (908): View more from New Jersey

  Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song

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  (908): Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song http://tfl.nu/uwq0
  Replies (13) Good night (1475) Bad night (579)
• Favorite

  (304): View more from West Virginia

  All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.

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  (304): All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time. http://tfl.nu/z2dh
  Replies (0) Good night (817) Bad night (419)
• Favorite

  (315): View more from New York

  i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy

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  (315): i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy http://tfl.nu/pdy7
  Replies (9) Good night (2029) Bad night (799)
• Favorite

  (218): View more from Minnesota

  You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.

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  (218): You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk. http://tfl.nu/cpk7
  Replies (9) Good night (833) Bad night (483)
• Favorite

  (218): View more from Minnesota

  I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...

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  (218): I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin... http://tfl.nu/zsou
  Replies (2) Good night (339) Bad night (624)
• Favorite

  (973): View more from New Jersey

  Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.

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  (973): Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year. http://tfl.nu/l5j5
  Replies (3) Good night (821) Bad night (372)

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