OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
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Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
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I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now