if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
You smell like stripper and shame
Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"