Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
There's a naked man in my car right now.
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
Randomize
