you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
Randomize
