If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
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Now he's lighting his socks on fire
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
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my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?