I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree