How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
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