haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
We had to coat check the pizza.
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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