and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
Randomize
