so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
