What a fucking waste of an outfit
The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
Randomize
