Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
Randomize
