My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
Randomize
