You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
I made him laugh his dick is mine
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
Randomize