i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Randomize
