Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
We're not piercing ourselves today.
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
Randomize
