If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
Randomize